I think I’ll just headlinize right here

From the Language Studies Dept: There’s a special place in the hereafter for those who deliberately and with malice aforethought murderize the English language. I don’t mean someone who splits an infinitive or fails to have parallel subject and predicate. I mean someone who speechifies crazily to falsely impressivate or to shroud the truth. I don’t expect clergy to engage in such behavior, but then, again, why not?  

Such was the case at a terrific concert (concertation?) put on last month by six cantors and a highly accomplished accompanist. While the music was beautiful, I was distressed to read that the New Jersey Cantors Concert Ensemble (ready?) “concertizes to promote education.”  Concertizes? We should educationize the members about the English language.

When are people going to stop thinking that using “ize” sophisticateizes words? These attempts to make language more flowery or important (importantize?) are not that unusual. A writer’s attempt to sound smart and sophisticated usually winds up obfuscating or completely changing the meaning of a sentence and, perhaps, a document.

What are the craziest words you’ve seen lately?